Yup, You Knew One Day It Would Happen, I'm Back

Gotta admit, it's been so long since I logged on that I almost forgot my password. Two months, my how time flies.

I'd like to thank all of you who continue to support this blog. Your comments mean a lot to me.

So, why's it been so long since my last post?

Two reasons really. First, my writing has been on hold because the Ripple has been sucking away all my time. It's stunning how fast things have grown over there. Wonderful fun, yes, but a massive time sink. I'm going to have to do some major time budgeting between writing and rippling once I start on the next novel.

And secondly, in truth, I haven't had much to write about. My original idea for this blog was to use my experience revising, querying, selling, publishing my novel as a way to pass on tips that I'm learning to you. My thought was that maybe my experience could help you along the path with your own writing. Also, I wanted to share that experience so we all could be there together, learning the joys, pains, tribulations of this darned difficult path we've chosen.

Along those lines, I hadn't had much to write about. Once I finished the revision and went through the Ten Point Revision Strategy, not much was happening. A long time was spent searching for the right agent.

But now I have news to report. Deadly Vision is being handled by a great agency that seems very excited to work with it. Even better, they hired an independent outside editor to read the book and review it. I suspect they did this before they agreed to handle it, to get another opinion. I don't know if this is a common practice with agents, to hire outside editors as another opinion, but it's an interesting concept.

Anyways, the editor read the novel and . . . loved it. Actually called the book the work of the next "new and improved Michael Crichton." With that the novel has been sent to publishers and we'll see what happens.

If you all would like, I'll post that first review of the novel. It's an interesting concept, being reviewed before the book is sold, as an agent's guide and agent marketing tool.

So now I've got lots to write about, as the book moves through the publishing channels.

In the meantime, let's get back to queries. These seem to be the bane of most writers, including myself. My next several posts will be about how to write an effective query letter. I've got some great references to share, and we'll post actual successful query letters so you can see what works and what doesn't. I'll even post my query which resulted in my novel being read by several agencies and eventually landing me with my agent.

Stay tuned. I'll be back.

Promise.

Rewriting the novel - quotes from our peers

At the moment, I'm kind of in writing stasis. The novel has been mailed out to agents, and I'm waiting for that special person to fall in love with it. I've done most of the research for the new novel, but haven't begun the actual writing process as I've been too busy taking care of other projects.

My father, with whom I wrote the TriEnergetics book (www.trienergetics.com) has formulated an idea for another book, so I need to write and prepare a non-fiction proposal. Very different than a fiction query. My Ripple Effect partner (www.ripplemusic.blogspot.com) and I are in the finalizing portion of forming a new business for the Ripple, so I need to write a business plan. And finally, I have some long lecture trips coming up this month, so I need to write and prepare some lectures.

All of which keeps me from writing.

But I'll get there. We'll write off May as a lost-writing month, but come June, I hope to be roaring back.

In the meantime, I found these quotes from your fellow writing peers on the internet and thought I'd share them with you, a way of sharing the anguish you feel about your rewrite. Let me know if any of these resonate with you, and also let me know how you're doing on your rewriting (and rewriting and rewriting.)

Tips on Rewriting From Your Peers

"At this point, it seems that no matter how far away I get from the work of rewriting (lawyering during the day, playing music at night, watching TV with my son, etc), I am always having thoughts and ideas about changing the bar room scene to this way or revising the dialogue between MC and chick #2 that way. Too often these flashes of utter brilliance would dissolve as quickly as they appeared. Unfortunately, they lack the manners to appear only when I am at the computer.
So I carry a tiny digital voice recorder at all times. After carrying it for a while, I've found it increasingly easier for my mind to summon chunks of text from the draft and to think through rewrites in my head, which I then articulate into the recorder. This has yielded some exhilarating results and improved my time management too."
- Peter

"A well-published author read an early ms of mine and gave me the best tip I've ever had. 'This is good,' he said, 'but more color, more smell.' "
- David

"I know one thing - revision is just that: a new vision. The story changes and grows during that process and there are many surprises for the writer. Another friend compared the revision process to a pop-bead necklace. You find the thread that runs through the book. Then you pick and choose what beads to string on that thread. Some you will put aside, some you will keep, sometimes you’ll have to find brand new beads not used before."
- Sharon

"From Stephen King's memoir On Writing: An editor wrote to him on a rejected manuscript: "2nd draft = 1st draft - 10%. Good luck." This has always helped me. In the first draft you simply write the story. Get it down and out and properly archived. Then go back later and operate. One last point, also from Master King, is to be sure and let your first draft rest after it's written. Save it on your thumb drive, your hard drive, and on paper and walk away from it. Don't even think about it for at least a month. Chronological and psychological distance are key to the revision process."
- Ted

"Don't look at (rewriting) as a daunting task. If you do, you will feel like you will never get it done - and I know people who don't. I am one of these writers who personally loves editing and this is why: I think of my end result. I can see just how great my story is going to be once all the polish is on and it's glossy and shiny."
- Madison

"When I'm ready to do a rewrite, I read the 'original' out loud and anywhere I stumble--that gets changed/rewritten/deleted or at the very least fixed so it can read more smoothly. And along this line, reading to a mirror (of what you think might be your last rewrite) helps you get used to reading to an audience (even if it's only an audience of one) and picks up even more rough spots."
- Dia

"My suggestions: 1) Don't rewrite until you've finished the first draft. 2) Take a break. This way, when you come back to it, you can get that lovely feeling of it being written by someone else - and therefore fair game for criticism and cutting! 3) Use a good thesaurus if you must, or really work at re-thinking what you want to communicate - this will bring up some great language, and improve your style."
- Drew

"It is in rewrites that love of language is expressed. First drafts are for inspiration, concept, and organization. Then the fun part comes - get the details right."
- Gene

"Once I have committed to write about the contents, it then becomes a part of my life. There of course is the initial composition. Then I put it aside for a month or two and perform a re-write. Put that re-write aside for the same period of time and do it again. Ad infinitum, until it's press time."
- Bob

Again, too much time has passed since I last posted. All for good reasons though. The research on my new novel is mostly completed and the outlining process has begun. I'm also in the process of forming a record label with my wife and "other brother from another mother." So my time has been sapped.

I've gone back and am re-evaluating my first few chapters of the prior manuscript, looking to see if I can make them even better.

Along those lines, I found this advice over Feed Blitz and thought I'd share it with you all.

This is titled, "Advice on Revising From Your Peers," and falls nicely in with my Ten Point Revision Strategy. Let me know your thoughts on these pearls and if you find this useful.

"As you work your way through each scene in a novel ask yourself:

• What is happening in this scene?
  
• Why is it important?
  
• Is it believable?
• What is the conflict? Who wants what, and who or what won’t let them have it?
• What does this scene contribute specifically and integrally to the plot? How does it drive it?
  
• Can it be cut, partially or completely, and not effect the plot?
• Can the integral part of the scene be folded into another scene, and the rest eliminated?
• When does the scene occur?
• Would the plot be better served if you moved the scene to another place in the unfolding of the story?
  
• From whose point of view is this scene experienced?
• How does this character contribute to the plot? Can another character do it so you can eliminate this one, or combine the two into one character?
• Where is this person?
• What is the POV character in the scene doing?
  
• What is he/she feeling emotionally about what’s happening in the scene?
  
• What is he/she feeling emotionally about things outside the scene?
• What is he/she seeing? Hearing? Touching? Even smelling and tasting?
• Can you exchange “he said”s and “she said”s with action?
• Can you exchange passive verbs with active ones?
• Can you exchange adverbs (“ly” words) with action?
• What does each paragraph within the scene contribute? Can it be eliminated?
• What does each sentence within the scene contribute? Can it be eliminated?

How're You Doing with Your Writing?

Busy, busy, busy.

Got lots of things popping around in the hopper right now.

The trick, I've found, is to stay obsessively organized when multiple projects are working.

My novel is currently being read by an agent in New York. Please cross your fingers for me, and I'll do the same for you when yours is ready.

I've done a lot of work on query letters, short synopsis, and full synopsis. We'll talk more about that stuff in later posts.

In the meantime, I've been outlining and researching the next novel. Love that part. More posts to come.

So, while I'm waiting to get to all that, how're you doing with your writing? I'd love it if everyone who pops on over to this blog, dropped a little comment on where you are in your writing, what's working and what's holding you up. We're all in this together!

Summing it Up - Writing the Novel Synopsis

I was going to write a post today about the art of writing the novel synopsis, but then I came upon this eloquent article that just says it better than I ever could. I've taken this from FMWriters.com, which I've found to be an excellent source of information.

You can find them in my Resource Guide to the right, and a direct link to this original post is

http://fmwriters.com/Visionback/Issue%2015/workshop.htm

I hope you find this as helpful for you as it has been for me. And thank you Sheila Kelly for writing it.

We'll rejoin later and talk about the two page synopsis versus the longer, full-novel synopsis. You will definitely need them both when submitting to agents.

Writing the Novel - Which Font is Best?

This is a question I get asked a lot, and as simple as it seems, it can create a lot of confusion.

What is the best font to use for my novel?

The simple answer is to use whatever works for you, is appealing to your eye, and most importantly, easy to read.

The more involved answer is that agents do have preferences. They don't want anything flashy or creative or flamboyant. Beginning writers often try to play with different fonts as a way to express their individuality or creativity. Nothing screams out amateur greater than this. The font is not where you will stand out to an agent, it's the writing. A flamboyant font is enough of a red flag for agents to toss your manuscript into the trash.

What agents want is a professional looking (and reading) manuscript that follows strict format. They also want a font that is easy to read.

Originally, I wrote in Courier because I was told it was the most neutral. I've since switched because the spacing between the letters creates too many pages for the word count. After speaking with Robert Dugoni, I now use exclusively, Times New Roman, and have since learned that this is a very commonly used, accepted font with professional writers.

Other basic fonts should be acceptable, but the beauty of Times New Roman is that the page count you'll get using this font is nearly identical to the page count for the finished product. In other words, my novel at 102,000 words is 454 pages, just as it will appear when printed (or close to it.)

Save the standing out for your writing. When it comes to font, it's best to blend in with the rest.

That All Important First Chapter - Six Tips to Getting it Right

Nothing in your book will work if you don't get that all important first chapter off the ground. No agent will read it if you make mistakes right off the bat. So, as we're heading into our final revisions, here's somethings to watch out for to avoid that first chapter clunker.

1) Description: Don't start your book off with page after page, or even paragraph after paragraph of description. Not even sentence after sentence. Don't describe the characters in detail, or the setting, or the mood. There's time for all that later. Introduce the characters, preferably in action, at or just before a big moment. Then you'll get your story off the ground. Description can come later, but even then, with modulation. There's no room in today's writing for endlessly, long, leisurely descriptive passages. I skip over reading those. Don't you?

And no matter what else you do, don't start your book with descriptions of the weather.

2) POV: From the get-go, make sure your POV is tight and clear and your voice firm and strong. Don't be wishy washy, you'll lose the reader.

3) Action: As I said before, get the action going right away. There's no room for a chapter where nothing happens. Readers respond to scenes that start in media res.

4) Avoid Chiches and Cheesy Hooks: Draw the reader in naturally, with your story, not some prefab cheesy hook you think will get their attention. Avoid dream scenes, completely if possible, but certainly in the first chapter.

5) Backstory: We talked about this in the dreaded info dump. Don't launch into backstory on characters or place before you get into the plot. Readers don't care about your character until you make them care. You make them care by their actions, not their story.

6) Dialogue: Right from the start, make sure your dialogue is tight and strong. Again, don't be afraid to show strong voice. It's the only way.

Traveling and Research

Well, I can't believe how long it's been since I last posted. To all of you who continue to write comments, thanks. I definitely haven't given up on the blog, in fact, soon I'll have a whole new bunch of posting ideas for us to discuss.

As far as the novel goes, I'm on track to finish the revision by my deadline of 12/31. I have one more minor change to make then truthfully, just the final read through. Soon it will go back to my agent.

Which brings us to the new and exciting stuff and why I've been gone so long. You've all heard the adage "write what you know." Well, in truth, the adage should be "write what you can learn about." We can't all write about what we know and make it interesting, but we can all do research and bring new and interesting ideas and information into our lives and writing. To that end, I intend to do several posts coming up on research, how, where, when and why.

As for me and why it's been so long between posts? I've been doing my own research, in Istanbul. My next medical thriller will take my hero there so I went away for a few weeks to live in the City and gather the vibe. Details, sights, sounds, smells, sensations. People, places, foods, drinks. Tourists and locals. I have detailed notes and images to lend veracity to the next novel.

That one, we'll write together.

I'm Back!

Wow! Hard to believe so much time transpired since my last post. But it did.

In case you were wondering, I've been fine. In fact, your great comments of encouragement and the growing number of readers who've found some value from this blog keep me motivated to keep on going forward.

Over these last three weeks, I simply took a break. After completing the novel and waiting for my writing group to come back to me with their final recommendations (which will happen this Thursday) I decided to take some well-deserved time away from writing or writing about writing. Instead, I focused on The Ripple Effect, which has been incredibly busy of late.

But with my writing group meeting coming later this week, soon I'll be launching back into the novel. And with that, I'll begin updating here again as well.

I intend to finish our discussion of outlining. And with the novel just about ready to go back to my agent, I thought I'd write about the all-important query letter and the extremely difficult novel summary. Both essential topics if you hope to get published.

Please keep your comments coming. It's nice to know that all of my blabbering may actually be helping some body.

Back to the updating and novel after my meeting Thursday!

Writing the Novel - Another List of Overused Words

I hope everyone's writing is going well and that progress is being made. Again, I'd like to thank all those who've posted comments. Your thoughts are much appreciated and gives me motivation to keep this blog going when I really have so many other things I should be doing. A while back, I posted a list of words that I'd jotted down during various writing courses. These were words to be avoided, poor modifiers, weak descriptors, over-used words. That post has turned out to be one of my favorites, as I go back to it often as I'm rewriting. As I'm nearing completion of my revision, each word it seems is taking on greater importance, and I find myself commonly go back to that list. So for today's post, I wanted to update it and expand it. Some of you may remember that the reason I originally started this blog was to share all that I've learned over the years towards publishing, but also for myself. When I came up with my Ten-Point Revision Strategy, this blog served as a thinking pad for me to flesh those ideas out, help me to concentrate and focus in the important details. And I still find I'm doing that. Each time I post, what I write about is as much to help me understand the topics as it is to offer any insights to the readers. Hopefully, we'll both be able to learn and grow in our writing together. This list has been modified from phschool.com I present it here as a tool for all of us to remember those weak, overused words. If you'd like any further research on the topic, please visit their site. Overused Words about approximately, nearly, almost, approaching, close to

absolutely unconditionally, perfectly, completely, ideally, purely

activity action, movement, operation, labor, exertion, enterprise, project, pursuit, endeavor, job, assignment, pastime, scheme, task

add attach, affix, join, unite, append, increase, amplify

affect adjust, influence, transform, moderate, incline, motivate, prompt

amazing overwhelming, astonishing, startling, unexpected, stunning, dazzling, remarkable

awesome impressive, stupendous, fabulous, astonishing, outstanding

bad defective, inadequate, poor, unsatisfactory, disagreeable, offensive, repulsive, corrupt, wicked, naughty, harmful, injurious, unfavorable

basic essential, necessary, indispensable, vital, fundamental, elementary

beautiful attractive, appealing, alluring, exquisite, gorgeous, handsome, stunning

begin commence, found, initiate, introduce, launch, originate

better preferable, superior, worthier

big enormous, extensive, huge, immense, massive

boring commonplace, monotonous, tedious, tiresome

bring accompany, cause, convey, create, conduct, deliver, produce

cause origin, stimulus, inspiration, motive

certain unquestionable, incontrovertible, unmistakable, indubitable, assured, confident

change alter, transform, vary, replace, diversify

choose select, elect, nominate, prefer, identify

decent respectable, adequate, fair, suitable

definitely unquestionably, clearly, precisely, positively, inescapably

easy effortless, natural, comfortable, undemanding, pleasant, relaxed effective powerful, successful emphasize underscore, feature, accentuate end limit, boundary, finish, conclusion, finale, resolution energy vitality, vigor, force, dynamism enjoy savor, relish, revel, benefit entire complete, inclusive, unbroken, integral excellent superior, remarkable, splendid, unsurpassed, superb, magnificent exciting thrilling, stirring, rousing, dramatic far distant, remote fast swift, quick, fleet, hasty, instant, accelerated fill occupy, suffuse, pervade, saturate, inflate, stock finish complete, conclude, cease, achieve, exhaust, deplete, consume funny comical, ludicrous, amusing, droll, entertaining, bizarre, unusual, uncommon get obtain, receive, acquire, procure, achieve give bestow, donate, supply, deliver, distribute, impart go proceed, progress, advance, move good satisfactory, serviceable, functional, competent, virtuous, striking great tremendous, superior, remarkable, eminent, proficient, expert happy pleased, joyous, elated, jubilant, cheerful, delighted hard arduous, formidable, complex, complicated, rigorous, harsh help assist, aid, support, sustain, serve hurt injure, harm, damage, wound, impair important significant, substantial, weighty, meaningful, critical, vital, notable interesting absorbing, appealing, entertaining, fascinating, thought-provoking job task, work, business, undertaking, occupation, vocation, chore, duty, assignment keep retain, control, possess kind type, variety, sort, form know comprehend, understand, realize, perceive, discern like (adj) similar, equivalent, parallel like (verb) enjoy, relish, appreciate main primary, foremost, dominant make build, construct, produce, assemble, fashion, manufacture mean plan, intend, suggest, propose, indicate more supplementary, additional, replenishment new recent, modern, current, novel next subsequently, thereafter, successively nice pleasant, satisfying, gracious, charming old aged, mature, experienced, used, worn, former, previous open unobstructed, accessible part section, portion, segment, detail, element, component perfect flawless, faultless, ideal, consummate plan scheme, design, system, plot pleasant agreeable, gratifying, refreshing, welcome prove demonstrate, confirm, validate, verify, corroborate quick brisk, prompt, responsive, rapid, nimble, hasty really truly, genuinely, extremely, undeniably regular standard, routine, customary, habitual see regard, behold, witness, gaze, realize, notice small diminutive, miniature, minor, insignificant, slight, trivial sometimes occasionally, intermittently, sporadically, periodically take grasp, capture, choose, select, tolerate, endure terrific extraordinary, magnificent, marvelous think conceive, imagine, ponder, reflect, contemplate try attempt, endeavor, venture, test use employ, operate, utilize very unusually, extremely, deeply, exceedingly, profoundly want desire, crave, yearn, long

Revising the Novel - Word Count

Before we delve deeper into our subject of outlining, I wanted to share what I've learned about a very commonly asked question.

How long should my novel be?

The answer is not "long enough to tell the story." While that may be what we all would love to hear, the truth is publishers and agents have very specific guidelines for novel length depending upon the genre. As I've said before, my work is mainstream fiction, a medical thriller, so that's really all I'm qualified to talk about. If you're writing a romance, or horror, or sci-fi, or literary fiction, you should refer to a good reference book for the answer to that question, like the Writer's Guide. If you're writing a thriller or other mainstream fiction, this is what I've learned. Understand that my goal in writing is publishing and establishing a career, not a whimsical fairy tale of life as an author.

For a first time author, your book length should be 90,000 to 100,000 words, which is about 450 pages. Strict. No more, no less. While you may tell the world's greatest story in 175,000 words, and it may become a huge best-seller, it will be awfully hard, as a first-time writer, to get an agent to look at a book of that length. It may happen. If your writing is so undeniably fantastic, you may be able to hook that agent. And if you are an undeniable talent, your agent may be able to convince a Publishing House to buy your book. But the odds are stacked against you.

Publishing Houses do not like to take chances and invest big dollars into first-time authors. They're very conservative. So what you need to do is follow their guidelines, play their game. They're the ones setting the rules. Once you're as big as Ken Follett you can break the rules and unleash your 1000 page tome. Not now.

So how many pages is 100,000 words?

Obviously, that will depend upon the type and size of font you use. What I recommend, from what I've learned in discussions with agents, is Times New Roman font, 12 point size. Courier is also an accepted font by agents but Times New Roman is the best, and here's why.

The spacing of Courier font adds length to your manuscript. So while the word count may be acceptable, the number of pages is increased. With my manuscript, at 106,000 words (I know, I know, still too long, I'm working on it. Got the Ten-Point Revision Strategy at my side) the page count was 560 pages. With Times New Roman, it is 477 pages.

What this means is that with Times New Roman, your number of manuscript pages is approximately equal to the number of printed pages in an average book. This makes for an easy guide to determine your novel length.

In general, the formula comes down to the average text has 10 words per line, 25 lines per page for a total of 250 words per page. This is comparable to the word count of a published novel.

So while the romantic, walking through the garden, following your lovely muse response to the question would be; "write until the book is finished, not one word more or less." In reality, this just isn't true. It's fine, if you really don't care about publishing. But the honest, business-like, non-romantic, but infinitely more practical advice for a first-time writer, is follow the rules. 90,000-100,000 words for mainstream/thriller fiction. It shows professionalism on your part, writing skill, knowledge and will greatly increase your chances of actually getting your novel read.

Revising the Novel - Sex Scenes - the Final Hitchcockian Word

We've had a few posts recently about writing that all important sex scene. Now, I'm not saying that every novel needs a sex scene, mine doesn't. But I have struggled over writing sex scenes before, so I wanted to bring it up here for discussion.

Previously, I've made two points about how to successfully navigate your way around this rather sticky subject.

1) Avoid cliche. Be very careful of cliche in every aspect of the scene, from the terms you use for male and female anatomy, to emotions, to setting, to tone. With so much bad daytime television and trashy novels, a sex scene will only work if it's novel.

2) Only introduce the scene if it a) doesn't interfere with the flow of the plot, and b) like all scenes, it must serve the story and move the plot forward.

So for our final discussion, I wanted to make one final point. Over at blogcatalog.com, I'd posted a thread in my favorite writing group, searching for opinions from fellow writers on how they handle this subject. After reading the responses, I was pleased that the general consensus matched my opinion and even gave me a great term to describe the best way to handle the scene.

Hitchcockian.

What I mean by this is that the best way to write a powerful, dramatic sex scene is to think like the famous director, Alfred Hitchcock. What made his movies so compelling was the tension in the scenes. The lead up to the violence. The implication of violence. He usually avoided showing the violence itself. Instead, the viewer was left to fill in the holes with their own imagination, which can often be far more frightening than anything Hitchcock could have put on the screen.

I believe a great way to handle a sex scene in your novel is to follow that same advice. Really, unless you're writing erotica, it's not the sex in the scene that will interest your readers. It's the implication. The build up. The tension.

And just as importantly, never forget the ramifications. The post-sex scenes can be just as powerful or more so than the pre-sex scene. You simply can't (or shouldn't) have two characters fall into bed together without their relationship and possibly lives being irrevocably changed. Unless the point of your story is to show how a character can have sex and remained totally unchanged, don't pass up this opportunity to explore your character's feelings after sex; the embarrassment, the confusion, the insecurity, the building romance/love.

The possibilities are endless.

So my final advice on writing a great sex scene is maybe you don't need to write the scene at all.

Revising the Novel - Intention

When I first started this blog, my original intention was purely to get my thoughts on the revision process down on paper to help me with my current work. I wanted to use this as a think pad, a guide book, to direct and focus my thoughts on what I needed to do.

The results so far, based on your feedback, has been greater than I ever expected. Thanks to all who've written with your encouragement and thoughts.

Now the reason I mention all this is that my intention directed my actions, and those actions led to results, perhaps even results I didn't anticipate.

That's a powerful statement and one that needs to makes its way into our writing. Knowing the intentions of your characters, in each scene, can be a vital tool to drive the drama and power of your writing. I mentioned this earlier in the Ten-Point Revision Strategy under "Know your Character's Motivation," but it's worth exploring deeper.

I don't know about you, but when I write, I often like to get into the feel of writing, the cadence, the appearance of the words on the screen. I have scenes set that I know are necessary to move the story forward; plot oriented scenes that bring conflict and drama. But quite honestly, I don't often step back and ask myself a simple question, "What does each character want out of this interaction/situation?"

Think how powerful those words are. From the main character to a bit player, the story will change if you spend some serious thought on what each character really intends to happen in that scene.

Say you have a big scene happening in a restaurant, I don't know, a meeting between two lovers on the verge of divorce. This is their last stab at trying to stay together. They arrive in different cars and flip their keys over to the valet. Now, in this scene, the valet obviously has little importance in the lives of our characters. But say for example, that you wanted to have the valet say something, just a sentence in passing, to build the scene. How can this affect the story?

If the valet is miserable at his job, just wasting his time away, pissed off that his big audition at the Broadway musical was a bomb, his demeanor, body language and sentence may be very different than if he's had a brand new baby boy and his wife is home waiting for him.

A minor character for sure, but it's easy to see how his one sentence, based on his intentions, can have a dramatic impact on our lead characters, setting the scene for their meeting. Say the valet is a snippy twit, sarcastic and angry as he takes the car keys. Now compare that to a happy, bubbling new daddy, spreading joy and love with every word. How could that impact the moods of our main characters as they step into the restaurant?

Now, I've just described how a bit character's motivation can impact a scene, imagine if you spent the time to really think about each of the main character's motivations as they enter the restaurant. There's a big difference between the male lead dying to get back together with her because she's the love of his life, and just going through the motions because he's head over heals in love with a waitress at the very restaurant at which they're meeting.

Character Intention. Motivation. Spend the time as you're revising each scene to make sure that you know exactly where each character is coming from.

Revising the Novel - Writing the Sex Scene part 2

Back on the subject of sex.

As I mentioned in the prior post, of utmost importance to me when writing a sex scene is to avoid cliche. There are only so many non-offensive euphemisms you can use for penis. Even fewer for a vagina. Most of these are so full of purple prose that I'm embarrassed any time I even think of using one.

Breasts are easy. The word "breasts" works fine. So does nipple. But when it comes to the male and female genitalia, "penis" and "vagina" seem far too clinical for our writing. So we improvise. That's how things like "pulsating member," get published. I've even read once about a "vibrating stinger." I'm still scared at the thought.

My advice on this sensitive topic is to use the real words, or the least of the purple prose euphemisms. It is unlikely that you'll come up with a term that hasn't been used before, or one that is so terrifically original that it will send your scene over the top. Usually, all that results is that you succeed in drawing attention to your poor word choice and away from the steamy sex happening on the page.

Just write it.

Use the words we're all familiar with. Concentrate on the action and whatever originality you can create in the scene. The mood, the background, the character's thoughts, their actions, unique fetishes, etc.

Don't get hung up on the words, or else a pulsating member may inadvertently make its way into your writing.

Writing Groups - Final, Final Thoughts (no, really)

As I mentioned, today I'll give some details on how my second writer's group works. The first group, Mimi's Boys, is a local group where we meet once or twice a month. Those are easy to put together and easy to find. Around here, the SF Bay area, a quick look through Craig's List can turn up any number of groups looking for new authors. The bulletin board at local bookstores is another good source to find a group. Or you can do it my way and form a group from the students in one of your writing workshops.

My second group is very different, since we've only met each other once, haven't seen each other since, but have been actively working as a group for more than seven months now. This is my internet based group.

The group came about at the end of an intense two-day advanced writing workshop with Bob Dugoni in Chicago. In hindsight, the emergence of the group seems obvious. Throughout the course, Bob often referred to the writing of four of the participants to give examples of plot, writing technique etc. As the course progressed, these four writers (one of which was me) were also the most vocal in asking questions and making remarks. That night, I met up with two of the guys and had a few drinks in the bar with several other participants and realized that we all had good chemistry.

The next day, I asked the two guys, Jeff and Paul, if they'd like to form an internet group to read and give feedback on each other's writing. After setting a few ground rules, they agreed. We did approach the fourth writer, a woman with a beautiful, mystical Celtic writing style, but she was already in two groups of her own. (so we're still shy on the female input, hint hint to any wonderful women writer's out there.)

So here's how this group functions. At first, we set the goal for submissions every two weeks, but we've been more flexible than that depending upon people's schedules. When I submit, I send about 30 pages of my draft to both guys. In the email, I include a very brief, one or two sentence, reminder of where the story left off. They guys then respond with their comments, copying everyone on their emails. One of them likes to email back the draft with line edits as well.

Typically, we return about one page worth of comments, good and bad, focusing mainly on plotting, character and other larger issues. I don't line edit because I feel my strength is the bigger picture. By copying each other on the return emails, we stimulate conversation amongst ourselves and explore deeper issues.

I've found this group to also be very helpful. Each of these two guys are good writers with different viewpoints than the writers in Mimi's Boys. Their comments have helped me to broaden my view on the story and I'm just about to incorporate a very small, but potentially major change.

This group works because I trust their opinions and we're all committed. Now, I met these guys in person first, but internet groups can be joined or formed by meeting other writers through online writing forums, bulletin boards, and chat rooms. Be careful who you join with. Remember my first two posts about what to look for in a group. And if it isn't working for you, don't be afraid to say so, or to quit. Also, if the group is good but there's one bad seed, never be afraid to trust your own judgment and ignore that person's comments.

So whether in person or over the internet, there are a wide variety of ways to be involved in a writer's group. In the end, it never hurts to have as many trustworthy eyes as possible on your writing.

Writing Groups - Final Thoughts

A few final thoughts on the subject of writing groups, and I'd like to thank Beth from Writer-in-Progress for her insights. If you haven't yet, you should check out her blog and her website, both are full of interesting tidbits.

As you can see from her comments (see last post) the decision to join a group isn't quite as straight forward as you may at first think. Unfortunately, the wrong group can probably do more harm than good for your writing.

Having said that, I'm in two groups right now.

The first group, I'll call "Mimi's Boys," came about after taking a UC Berkeley writing course with Skirts author, Mimi Albert. While the course itself was fun and useful, what struck me the most was the quality of the critique I heard from my fellow students. Having been in other classes, I know that usually students are either too hesitant to be honest in their critique or too angry/mean/arrogant to be of use. This class had just the right balance, honest, well-intentioned critique. As the course ended, I stood up, told the class how much I appreciated their critique and suggested forming the group. About 7 people joined at first and we lost five through attrition but gained two new ones, and have been going strong for almost ten years (with a couple of years off for personal reason's amongst members.)

The nice thing about Mimi's boys is that we all know each other very well. We all have different writing styles, reading patterns and genres. We also are all committed to becoming successful writers and assisting our partners. Each member has an area that I'd consider their specialty, whether it's someone who picks apart dialogue well, grammer and wording, etc. I know, for example, which sections of my writing Gregg might have trouble with, but Les will love and vice versa. Gabe happens to be a very technical guy which truly helps the science in my story. I consider myself a plot oriented kinda guys and work best in helping to move stories along.

We meet once a month, but currently every two weeks as we're helping Les get his materials ready for his agent before the Maui Writing Conference. That adaptability is also a great feature of Mimi's Boys. We truly are there to help each other. If there's one drawback to the group, it's that we lost all of our women over the years, usually to motherhood concerns. As such, we're sorely lacking a female perspective, which we desperately need. With the majority of readers being women, we can never discount that perspective. Gregg tells me that we have a new woman getting ready to join us soon. Let's hope so.

My second group was formed after attending Robert Dugoni's course in Chicago. Again, I approached the two guys who's stories fascinated me the most and seemed the most serious in writing. Since they live across the country, this is an internet only group, and its working beautifully.

Next post, I'll give you ideas on how to make an internet writing group a successful venture.

Revising the Novel - Back to Theme part 2

So the real question then, is what is your book about?

You can write a story about a doctor who solves a mass murder case at her hospital, but underneath the story, if you look hard, you'll probably find a deeper message or idea running through. This is the theme, at least in the way I use the word.

Now, after you've finished your first draft, poured your heart and soul out onto the paper (or as I heard it referred to once,"breaking open the bones to find the marrow") it's time to take a look back at what you've done. Most authors recommend a cooling off period, which I agree with. Stephen King recommends six weeks, which seems about right. Finish the draft, put it away, clear your mind, meditate on a mountain and work on another project for a short while. A short story, a magazine article, your blog, whatever it takes to keep your fingers and mind writing, but not on your novel.

Then, when the grapes have fermented, bring the book back up and re-read it. The first revision (before you get to the Ten-Step Revision Strategy which is the final revision) is to look for major issues, character issues, plot, setting, time inconsistencies etc, and also theme.

During this revision, usually something will begin to stand out, at first maybe just a tickling at your brain, but with due diligence you'll see that beyond the thriller about the murder at the hospital, something else happened. This is usually revealed in one of the character arcs of your story, usually the hero. It may be as simple as how the events of the story changed her or altered her world view. It may be reflected in the change of her attitudes towards other characters or her work or her home. It may be hard to find at first, but it's usually there. Search for it, brush the dust off, sweep away the detritus, and you'll find it. Your theme.

Now, you may ask why is it important to find this, to know that deeper underlying story when, in reality, all you've set out to do was write about a murder at the hospital. My view on this is very simple. Knowing the theme can only make your book stronger. That theme, if portrayed properly, without too much emphasis, becomes the readers "Aha," moment. Their take home message. It's not a moral, just a lingering thought. It's what can make your book stand out above all the other hospital murder stories ever written. It's what makes your writing, yours.

Once you've identified the theme (perseverance against all odds, a young woman's struggle for success and independence, whatever) then when you're revising, it becomes very easy to add scenes or embellish scenes that help to bring this theme to the surface, or eliminate scenes that are contradictory or non-helpful.

The story is still about your story, but by bringing that theme to life, your story becomes about so much more.

This is what I've been doing recently with my book. I've finally identified the theme, and suddenly the whole story seems so much clearer to me.

More on that next time.

Revising the Novel - Back to Theme

Let's get back to our earlier conversation about theme.

There's an excellent discussion of theme in Steven King's book, On Writing, A Memoir of the Craft, which I would recommend to anyone who's interested in writing novels. Considering that these are the words of one of the best-selling writers of all time, it's certainly worth paying attention to what he has to say. His take on theme is very similar to mine, or should I say, my take is very similar to his (as I'm certain his views on this topic came first.)

First of all, theme doesn't have to be big, overblown deal, and in fact, it shouldn't. To sit down and write a book about "X" theme, because you really want to make a moral or philosophical statement is usually a set-up for failure. In the days past, readers may have had patience for a dissertation on what the authors moral views of a subject were or their grand view on life, but not today. With the short-attention spans we're confronted with, any preaching you do as a writer is probably going to be all the excuse the reader needs to put the book down. No, in today's multi-media age, all that really matters is the story. Particularly with thrillers. Keep it engaging, keep it exciting and keep it moving.

But that doesn't mean your book may not make a grander statement than a simple shoot-em-up. In fact, the best thrillers will make a statement, or a leftover lingering thought, something to make the reader go "Hmmmm, so that's what this is about." The important thing is that the theme shouldn't (can't) overpower the story. Remember, story always comes first.

I didn't set out with a deliberate theme when I started my novel. I wanted to tell a story, based in science and medicine, about an experiment that goes horribly wrong and its consequences for my hero. As it turns out, this is the approach Stephen King recommends as well. Write your book, tell your story, then look back and see what your story is really about. It's probably not about the big gunfight, or in Stephen's case, the vampires haunting the New England town, it's about the people. And usually some very specific aspect of the people.

With this in mind, as I set out to follow the Ten-Point Strategy to revise my novel, I started thinking about what deeper story my book told. At first I thought it was a "David vs Goliath" type of story, but after my discussion with Robert Dugoni, I began to realize that it was something very different, and in truth, much more satisfying.

More on that next time.

Pick up Stephen King's On Writing here: On Writing

Revising the Novel - Use of the Ten-Point Revision Strategy

Before we continue on with our discussion about theme in the novel, and how, with a little bit of time and thought, your discovery of the theme of your novel will sharpen and tighten your writing, I wanted to make two quick digressions.

First, I wanted to thank all the readers who've come over and left comments. Your response has been greater than I ever imagined. I created the Ten-Point Revision Strategy out of necessity to finish this (hopefully) final draft of my novel. My agent is waiting for it and I was struggling to get it done. I needed a guidepost, some freeway signs to get me moving in the right direction. I wanted to share with all interested writers this strategy as a suggested tool that may help your writing as well. So, thank you.

Secondly, I wanted to move back to an early point in the strategy, #5 End Chapter Earlier, and add an example. As I'm going through my revision, I've utilized this point at almost every opportunity, and I've been amazed at how much it can improve a chapter.

The goal here is very simple and follows the old axiom: Start after the beginning, end before the ending.

I'd found in my writing, I tended to end with neat little summaries or chapter tie-ups that I believed set up the next chapter or created a cliff hanger ending. After learning this tip from Robert Dugoni, I've rethought this part of my writing, and as I'm moving through this revision, I've tried cutting out at least the last paragraph, or more, of each chapter. And I think it works.

Here's an example from my novel, with the before and after point #5 revision. Please comment back on whether or not you think this simple strategy hasn't made the ending more interesting, less predictable and more ominous. I look forward to reading your responses.

Not much set-up is needed for this scene. The Senator is talking to a member of his inner circle, discussing a research project (our hero's) that has become a hot topic in the upcoming election. For reasons revealed in the novel, the Senator needs the project to fail to bolster his candidacy. The reader, by this time, knows something is up, some sabotage of the research is planned, but not what that plan is.

Here's before the use of point #5.

Roderick nodded. “But that’s not the issue here—“

“But it is,” the Senator said, holding up his hands. “Don't lose sight of that. The failure of Abrahms’s research will bring unprecedented exposure to this issue. The family connection makes it even stronger. We just need to play our cards right. Once his research fails my stock will soar. This will hand us the election.”

“What if he succeeds?”

“He won’t.”

“But what if—“

The Senator cut him off with a gaze so full of certainty it made Roderick shudder. “He won’t.”

Roderick nodded and rose to his feet. “I’ll keep the forces in check.” He turned and headed towards the Pennsylvania Street exit.

McIntyre watched Roderick walk by the Iraqis, then reached into his breast pocket, pulling out his iphone. With deft movements, he typed a message then launched it into cyberspace.

It’s time for action. . . immediately

He knew the recipient would know what the pre-planned course of action would be.

And now here's after.

Roderick nodded. “But that’s not the issue here—“

“But it is,” the Senator said, holding up his hands. “Don’t lose sight of that. The failure of Abrahms’s research will bring unprecedented exposure to this issue. The family connection makes it even stronger. We just need to play our cards right. Once his research fails my stock will soar. This will hand us the election.”

“What if he succeeds?”

“He won’t.”

“But what if—“

The Senator cut him off with a gaze so full of certainty it made Roderick shudder. “Don’t worry. He won’t.”

It's such a simple change. All I did was cut out that last little bit, a concluding action, but I think it makes the ending much stronger. What do you think?

If you like this idea, try it in your own writing and see if it doesn't help.

Revising your novel - Know Your Theme

I had a very interesting experience recently in a conversation with Robert Dugoni. For those who don't know Robert, he's a very talented, quite successful writer, who first books have all been best-sellers.

As we were talking, he asked me what my novel was about. Now, I've been working on this book since before the dawn of time. I've been living with it, married to it, at times divorced from it. I know it inside and out. I already have an agent for it, and Warner Books has asked me for this final revision that I'm now working on, as they're considering it. In other words, I know this book.

But do you know what I said?

To paraphrase my babbling: "It's a story about a guy who is working on this amazing medical research project, and his family is dead, and his wife is the daughter of a senator, and there's this company in Silicon Valley, and there's this contract killer, and they want the project to stop, and it all goes wrong, and. . . and. . . and. . . "

In other words, I didn't have the slightest idea what my book was about. What was the core of the story? What was the through story, the magnet that would pull the reader from the beginning to the end? What was the payoff?

We're going to talk about theme for the next several posts, and I'm going to use the term loosely, probably not as academically as a writing professor would, because in this day and age, theme in a thriller is a loosely applied technique. But in the end, it still has to be there.

After you've written the first draft, after you've poured your heart out and bled your soul onto the blank page. Once you've begun the revision process through the Ten-Point Revision strategy, it's time to step back, take a good look at your book and ask yourself, "What is my book about?"

If you're like me, the answer may astound you. It turns out my book isn't about any of the and, and, ands, that I stuttered out to Robert.

It's so much more.